WARNING: VIDEO CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE
The ladies of Litchfield rob and rough up Santa in an “Orange is the New Black” parody of Clement Clarke Moore’s famous poem, “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” better known as “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.”
Uzo Aduba and the “Orange is the New Black” cast parody “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.”
The naughty prison parody, which hit the web on Wednesday, turns the family-friendly holiday rhyme into an adults-only incarcerated classic.
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Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning) confuses Santa for Jesus in “‘Twas A Night in Litchfield.”
Instead of stockings hung by the chimney with care, there’s contraband tucked in the prison walls.
And not a creature is stirring – “not even a chicken,” as Red (Kate Mulgrew) explains.
Alex (Laura Prepon) questions Santa’s motives.
Well, except for some inmates getting it on in their bunks. Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) completes the rhyme with, “Hey, we ain’t monks.”
The prisoners leave their blocks once they hear a clatter outside, however. They spot an “old white dude” with “chalky” skin and “eight little cute a– reindeer.”
Sofia (Laverne Cox) knows no one wants to spend Christmas in solitary.
They’re initially suspicious of Father Christmas – and Alex (Laura Prepon), whose fate was up in the air during the show’s season finale, makes a welcome return in asking Santa, “Who sent you here?”
But the Christmas magic takes a dark turn when the prisoners knock over Kris Kringle’s sleigh.
Santa’s loot includes something special for Big Boo (Lea DeLaria).
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“It all happened so quick,” says Sofia (Laverne Cox).
“But we MAY have robbed and roughed up St. Nick,” finishes Gloria (Selenis Leyva).
The inmates grab NSFW swag from Santa’s bag, including porn, tampons and a vibrating screwdriver for Big Boo (Lea DeLaria.)
But before the prisoners can play with their illicit new loot, the ruckus awakens the guards, and Litchfield is put on lockdown as Santa goes on the lam.
The fourth season of “Orange is the New Black” returns on Netflix next summer.