Oliver dumps on Trump's wall plans on 'Last Week Tonight'

Posted on Mar 21 2016 - 2:00pm by

Once again, comedian John Oliver eviscerated Donald Trump on “Last Week Tonight.”

Instead of focusing on the bloviating billionaire’s penis or his penchant for lying, Sunday’s episode focused on the vast stupidity of his plan to build a wall.

The Donald says his wall will be “beautiful” and “the greatest” — but Oliver doesn’t agree.

“Donald Trump wants to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexican border and, based on his tone, he also wants to f— that wall,” the comic quipped, after showing clips of the businessman gushing over his plans for a “gorgeous” wall.

The GOP frontrunner has said he could build a wall for $ 4 billion instead of the estimated $ 10 billion it would cost, which Oliver quipped, “I would say is an insane magic trick if I thought his tiny fingers could wrap all the way around a magic wand.”

Eventually, Trump copped to the wall’s true estimated $ 10 billion cost and eventually even upped to estimate $ 12 billion.

According to The Donald’s plans, the wall would be somewhere between 35 and 90 feet tall, made out of rebar and concrete and somewhere around 1,000 miles long.

On Sunday’s episode of “Last Week Tonight” John Oliver took a dig at Donald Trump’s plan to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico.LastWeekTonight/via Youtube

On Sunday’s episode of “Last Week Tonight” John Oliver took a dig at Donald Trump’s plan to build a wall between the U.S. and Mexico.

According to one estimator, a 35-foot wall would cost $ 10 billion for the concrete, $ 5 to $ 6 billion for the steel columns and another $ 1 billion for the foundation.

Transporting such heavy materials to remote areas could require another $ 2 billion build roads and another 30% or so for management — bringing the grand total up to around $ 25 billion.

“But wait, because we’re still not done — all of that is just building the wall.”

There’s also maintenance costs — and the Congressional Budget Office estimated that for a similar project, maintenance costs would exceed construction costs within the first seven years.

“It’s a big, dumb thing that only gets more expensive over time. It’s like getting a pet walrus. You think it’s stupid now? Wait until you learn what a bucket of sea cucumbers costs,” Oliver told viewers.

Trump, of course, claims that Mexico will pay for it “and they’re going to be happy about it.”

Oliver also called Trump “America’s black mole.”Wilfredo Lee/AP

Oliver also called Trump “America’s black mole.”

Our southern neighbor, predictably, has a different take on it — especially former president Vicente Fox, who said his country wouldn’t pay for “the f—ing wall.”

“I think the best part of that clip is that he even took the effort to swear in English,” the British comedian said.

Trump’s seems to think that the U.S. can somehow force Mexico to pay for the wall because we have a trade deficit with them.

“Unfortunately, that’s literally not how anything works,” Oliver said, adding, “It’s not lying around in some Scrooge McDuck money bin labelled ‘Dumb Americans’ Money: Do Not Spend on Border Fence.’”

If there is somehow a way to pay for it, finding a place to put it may be a little trickier. When the U.S. built a 700-mile border fence, not all of it could go on the border because of rivers. So, in some cases, American land has ended up on the other side of the border fence.

Building the fence required waiving 36 laws — including laws protecting endangered species and Native American graves.

exp;WALT DISNEY TELEVISION/ABC

Oliver said money for the wall is “not lying around in some Scrooge McDuck money bin labelled ‘Dumb Americans’ Money: Do Not Spend on Border Fence.’”

On top of the construction issues, there are real questions as to whether it would do any good. Currently, almost half of unauthorized migrants entered the country legally and just overstayed their welcome.

“It’s like wearing a condom to protect against head lice. You could do that, but that’s not really how you keep the thing you’re worried about from happening,” Oliver said.

Admittedly, the “Last Week Tonight” host said, it’s not entirely about efficacy. For some people, it’s about xenophobia and just “feeling safer.”

That said, Oliver pointed out that research has shown that immigrants are less crime-prone than their American counterparts.

“If the main thing it’s going to get us is a warm sense of satisfaction inside, I suggest that, instead of building that wall, we use the money to buy every man, woman and child in America a Palmer waffle iron.”

Buying everyone a $ 75 waffle iron, it turns out, would cost less per person than building the wall.

Donald Trump supporter Steve Travers, of Tampa, wears a full body suit, dressed as a wall, with lettering that says "Mexico will Pay," before a campaign rally on March 5.Brynn Anderson/AP

Donald Trump supporter Steve Travers, of Tampa, wears a full body suit, dressed as a wall, with lettering that says “Mexico will Pay,” before a campaign rally on March 5.

“And, look, I know you’re thinking. John, this is a stupid idea but is it? Is it really? Yes obviously it is. But is it significantly stupider than Donald Trump’s wall?”

This was not Oliver’s first time skewering Trump on his show. In the last week of February, Oliver aired his first Trump-focused show, launching the hashtag #MakeAmericaDrumpfAgain.

“Donald Trump is America’s back mole,” he said.

“It may have seemed harmless a year ago but now that it has gotten frighteningly bigger it is no longer wise to ignore it.”

Since its airing, the YouTube clip of that single show segment has gotten more than 22 million views.

Entertainment – NY Daily News

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